**BTW, I just was tired from the long drive. Our gracious hostess was the one who got to experience the 24 hr bug. I still think it was the leftovers. :-)
Ah, vacation! You look forward to it for months, maybe even years, and then finally the moment arrives when you turn your dreams into reality! The euphoria of having all of your hard work and planning pay off into the promise of an idyllic getaway makes it all worthwhile as you unpack your belongings and settle in for the first round of activities.
And then the stomach lurches.
No. This can’t be happening! I don’t accept it. It’s just because the drive was long, the jet lag is kicking in, or the vitamins I just took aren’t settling well.
It’s a sad moment when the reality of the situation hits you, usually when the cool porcelain of the foreign toilet meets your lunch. Some people give it the amusing euphemism of “Traveler’s Tummy” or “Montezuma’s Revenge”, but no amount of magical thinking can take away the fact that your vacation has an uninvited guest – Mr. Bacteria and/or Ms. Virus.
We continued our tradition of spending the week between Christmas and New Year’s Eve with our friends in Los Alamos, NM, confident that our families would be healthy this time around. I loaded up the car with all of the necessary vitamins, OTC remedies, and herbal supplements, all designed to keep our immune systems fully functional. In the past, we’ve battled the stomach flu, high fevers, mysterious headaches, and a wide variety of body aches. In fact, one year, our entire extended family took turns with the 104+ fevers and chills, just in time to sweat in the New Millenium. Quite the bonding experience, let me tell you!
Unfortunately, botulism just doesn’t care what you throw at it. It throws it all right back out, and then some.
None of this is the worst thing in the world, considering the poverty, famine, and life-threatening illnesses that pervade many areas of the world, but I began to notice a trend as I watched our hostess succumb to left-over sweet potatoes. Why does it always seem to happen when it’s vacation time?
Here’s my theory: we spend so much time gearing up for the event, we neglect our health. Then, when faced with an unfamiliar environment, our lowered immune system doesn’t have the resistance to fight off the bugs that are constantly surrounding us. Next thing you know, you’ve become one with the couch.
Which is probably the real reason behind it all… all your body wants is to relax. If you don’t listen to it when it asks you to slow down, it takes matters into its own hands (or digestive system), and helps you find that brick wall that makes you slow down. Taking it easy isn’t always an option, especially if you have a demanding job, small children, or even a home to take care of. Sometimes, the only thing left of you is just enough energy to go into serious repair mode.
I remember my college years (vaguely, as the years are now stretching into decades), and how trips home were filled with chicken noodle soup, hot toddies, and loads of naps. This was because I would have pushed my body to the absolute limit, maintaining a job, a social life, and studying for mid-terms and finals. Those semester breaks were necessary to recharge my battery. I don’t think that college students know what it’s like to NOT run on empty! Now that I’m a student of life, it’s not much different.
Sometimes, it’s not the guests who are ill. It’s the host. I’ve been in that role, too, and it’s almost worse than being sick in an unfamiliar environment. The thought that you might somehow be passing on the flu or some particularly virulent form of the common cold is abhorrent. Not to mention the scenario of having to see off an entire family of phlegm monsters as they hack and cough their way back to the airport, ready to begin the contagion anew.
Feeling under the weather definitely brings about an intimacy that is unrivaled, a true sense of who people are at their core. Some folks are great houseguests but lousy patients, while others are just as wonderful whether they are hacking or hiking.
If you can reframe your temporary ill health as yet another bonding experience, you will be allowing yourself to heal faster, since beating yourself up for being sick won’t help at all. Who knows? You might even discover some new techniques to aid your recovery!
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Ch-ch-ch-changes...
Well, I took a big step out of my comfort zone today. I changed my website to announce that I am not only a Feng Shui consultant, but I am also a personal coach and an energy worker. I've been doing these things for the past year surreptitiously, but now I'm out and proud! While this work may not make me the financial super-star of the world, it has the potential to be even more powerful. With my gentle help, my clients will be able to uncover their true natures by peeling away the layers of false beliefs, negative perceptions, and encoded patterns that have been handed down through generational means and mass mindsets. This is powerful stuff, and I'm grateful to have the ability and training to handle it properly. Some folks call what I do being a Lightworker, but to me that sounds a bit odd. After all, we ALL have a glow to our being that can illuminate the darkness, so doesn't that make all of us Lightworkers? I'll just go by Beverly. If you must attempt to contain me in a title, call me a Feng Shui consultant. I'll fill in the gaps for anyone who asks. After all, it's all on my website now, www.TheIntuitiveInterior.com!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Farewell, my wooden friend...
Growing up is inevitable. However, our logical mind can process this even while our hearts are desperately clinging to the past.
Our fort is gone.
The children, who are now 14 and 11, have barely glanced at it in the past few years. But there it stood, solemnly waiting for the next visiting munchkin to slide screaming with joy down the green rocket, preferably into a waiting pool of water that had been conveniently arranged to catch them. It, too, remembered the tea parties in the upper tower, the evening dinners at the picnic table below, and the beanbags tossed at the sentries posted on the rock climbing wall.
I miss the gymnastics competitions the most. OK, granted, I won't miss the threat of bodily harm that the kids faced every time they found a NEW way to flip over the swings, or the skinned elbows as they raced each other to see who could do the obstacle course in the fastest time, but the laughter...oh, the laughter!
"The Fort" was a 2-story cedar construction with a 10' tower and a 13' tower that we had to get special dispensation from our HOA to even build it. There was a rock climbing wall, a sandbox, a picnic table, and an arm that held 3 swings. It hosted sleepovers, birthday parties, art projects, and scared puppies. But most of all, it was a fixture in our lives for over 9 years, as it was the first thing we purchased when we moved to Texas, almost before furniture. My husband and I lovingly assembled it, and sometimes not so lovingly restained it - several times. Even though we knew it was time to go, the vacancy in our back yard - and in our hearts - is almost unbearable.
Sure, something new and wondrous will take its place eventually, but for now, for this moment, I grieve. The loss of childhood, the memories never to be repeated, the high-pitched squeals of laughter forever replaced by the girlish giggling of a tween and the low baritone of my ever-growing young man. I miss those little kids, but I adore the people they are becoming.
Thank you, Mr. Fort, for being such an integral part of our family for so long. I know you'll be just as good to the next family that you went to!
Our fort is gone.
The children, who are now 14 and 11, have barely glanced at it in the past few years. But there it stood, solemnly waiting for the next visiting munchkin to slide screaming with joy down the green rocket, preferably into a waiting pool of water that had been conveniently arranged to catch them. It, too, remembered the tea parties in the upper tower, the evening dinners at the picnic table below, and the beanbags tossed at the sentries posted on the rock climbing wall.
I miss the gymnastics competitions the most. OK, granted, I won't miss the threat of bodily harm that the kids faced every time they found a NEW way to flip over the swings, or the skinned elbows as they raced each other to see who could do the obstacle course in the fastest time, but the laughter...oh, the laughter!
"The Fort" was a 2-story cedar construction with a 10' tower and a 13' tower that we had to get special dispensation from our HOA to even build it. There was a rock climbing wall, a sandbox, a picnic table, and an arm that held 3 swings. It hosted sleepovers, birthday parties, art projects, and scared puppies. But most of all, it was a fixture in our lives for over 9 years, as it was the first thing we purchased when we moved to Texas, almost before furniture. My husband and I lovingly assembled it, and sometimes not so lovingly restained it - several times. Even though we knew it was time to go, the vacancy in our back yard - and in our hearts - is almost unbearable.
Sure, something new and wondrous will take its place eventually, but for now, for this moment, I grieve. The loss of childhood, the memories never to be repeated, the high-pitched squeals of laughter forever replaced by the girlish giggling of a tween and the low baritone of my ever-growing young man. I miss those little kids, but I adore the people they are becoming.
Thank you, Mr. Fort, for being such an integral part of our family for so long. I know you'll be just as good to the next family that you went to!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
My "Sarah" glasses
It's always exciting and bewildering at the same time to get a comparison to a celebrity. In my younger days, Geena Davis was a common comment, along with Paulina Porizkova (the Czech supermodel who married the lead singer from Cars, Ric Ocasik? Remember?). Well, now the leading look-alike seems to be none other than the Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin. Of course, that's only when I wear my glasses, which tends to be a relatively rare occurrence. As luck would have it, though, one of those times was when I attended the Voices columnists' training session a couple of months ago for the Dallas Morning News. My eyes were not in the mood for contacts, so rather than fight it, I went for the totally new look.
While I'm not a huge fan of Mrs. Palin's politics, she is an attractive woman who isn't afraid to speak her mind. I think we could have a lot of fun camping out together, as long as she wasn't in the frame of mind to field-dress any wild game. Hey, I've "processed" quite a few chickens in my time growing up on a KS farm, and that is not an activity that is high on my list of experiences...but I digress. The simple fact is, she's made glasses cool again, and I really appreciate her doing that for the rest of America. Thanks, Sarah!
Now if I could just figure out why another friend of mine thought I looked like David Bowie...that was certainly a new one for me! Oh, and for the record, these frames are nothing like hers, but I'll still view any physical comparisons as a compliment. Bowie, on the other hand, not so much, but it could be fun to parade around like Ziggy Stardust for a while!
While I'm not a huge fan of Mrs. Palin's politics, she is an attractive woman who isn't afraid to speak her mind. I think we could have a lot of fun camping out together, as long as she wasn't in the frame of mind to field-dress any wild game. Hey, I've "processed" quite a few chickens in my time growing up on a KS farm, and that is not an activity that is high on my list of experiences...but I digress. The simple fact is, she's made glasses cool again, and I really appreciate her doing that for the rest of America. Thanks, Sarah!
Now if I could just figure out why another friend of mine thought I looked like David Bowie...that was certainly a new one for me! Oh, and for the record, these frames are nothing like hers, but I'll still view any physical comparisons as a compliment. Bowie, on the other hand, not so much, but it could be fun to parade around like Ziggy Stardust for a while!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Nyquil Kisses and Cold Feet
Ah, Fall! When the bedtime routine consists of putting on old socks to keep your tootsies from freezing, and the smell of Mentholatum and Nyquil fills the air along with the sounds of a phlegmatic's raspy grasp for a deep breath. It's that time of the season when the crunch of the leaves wafts mold & old pollen up through the arboreal jaunts, and the sinus passages find new things to be irritated by. That's when you know what true love is all about.
It's a helpless feeling to watch as your family tries to rid itself of that extra lung. It's even more challenging to snuggle up with someone as their body collapses in paroxyms of coughs, making the cuddle time more of a moving-target time. Still, it's because of these moments that I appreciate all of the healthy ones that we can spend together, making me appreciate my trips to the gym all the more rewarding. Thanks, God, for another day of being able to breathe easily and move relatively pain-free!
It's a helpless feeling to watch as your family tries to rid itself of that extra lung. It's even more challenging to snuggle up with someone as their body collapses in paroxyms of coughs, making the cuddle time more of a moving-target time. Still, it's because of these moments that I appreciate all of the healthy ones that we can spend together, making me appreciate my trips to the gym all the more rewarding. Thanks, God, for another day of being able to breathe easily and move relatively pain-free!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Labels
OK, let me say for the record: I’m not a Realtor! Well, technically, I am, since I hold a valid license, though I haven’t been active for over a year. Why all of the uproar over this? I was introduced as a Realtor for my job title for the Dallas Morning News Voices gang! It was simply a mistake, since I had held that title in the past, but that’s not the hat I wear these days (for the record, I’m a Feng Shui consultant, home stager, and life coach).
Still, once I got over my surprise at being miscategorized, I began to analyze why I was upset over this at all. After all, a job title doesn’t even begin to describe the complex, multi-faceted individual that I am. A simple little change in the job description at the end of my columns will fix it, so what’s the big deal?
I chalk up my agitation to the holidays. Nothing like getting together with extended family that you only have minimal contact throughout the year for several days of forced intimacy to get your guard up. As the youngest of 8 children, I constantly battle the illusion in my siblings’ minds that I’m a hot-headed 12 year old agitator, not the passionate 40+ idealist that I’ve become. And, conversely, I’m not entirely sure who THEY are, either. Sometimes I think that we should all take some type of survey in advance of the gathering, so we don’t have to spend the entire brief time span lamenting the fact that no one understands who we are anymore.
Labels and job descriptions give people a jumping-off point, a way to fix in their minds the character, tone, and direction of conversation. Every networking group I attend stresses the importance of the 30-second “elevator speech”, where you neatly sum up your job and interests in an effort to entice the other person to find out more about you. When done well, you can find out a lot about a person in a very short span of time. Developing a good one forces you to focus on what’s important to you, which is a key component to being successful in your life.
When labels are too limiting, skewed, or just plain wrong, they can have devastating effects. Just look at any political campaign for a myriad of examples. The terms “liberal” and “conservative” were both used to bludgeon the voters into toeing the party line. Even the word “patriotic” got sullied by candidates and their handlers, all in an effort to win the electorate’s hearts and minds. Prejudices creep silently into conversations if one isn’t aware of their words, too. That’s why it is so important to weigh what you say, since you can’t un-say things. You can pull the nail out of the board, but the hole still remains.
So what do you do if you are trying not to pigeon-hole yourself and others into a narrow little box? It’s actually very simple, yet extremely difficult at the same time: you have to take the time to actually listen. I know, I know, this is a tall order for today’s sound-bite generation, but even 30 seconds is asking a lot of some folks, let alone 30 minutes. It’s undeniable that the more our lives speed up, the greater the need to slow down at times. That’s why I personally have carved out one night each week just for me. Sometimes it’s spent with family, playing games or enjoying an outing together, other times it’s with friends, and still others, my most treasured times, it’s spent in a nice hot tub filled with Epsom Salts and orange peels.
Looking through your heart instead of your eyes is another way to get around the label game. After all, the executives at Enron looked great on paper and even more impressive in person with their designer suits and elegant homes, but their hearts were shriveled and lifeless, polluted with selfish desires for their personal gain. Years of being in sales positions taught me that some co-workers would gladly stab you in the back just for a couple of bucks. Look in the mirror, and if you see that person staring back, perhaps it’s time for some personal introspection. No one needs that kind of negative energy polluting their environment.
At the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter if people think I’m a Realtor, a Feng Shui consultant, or a glow-in-the-dark alien from the planet Krelzop. I know who I am, and I’m happy to share that with anyone who is interested. Hello, my name is Beverly. Would you like to get to know each other over some tea? My treat!
Still, once I got over my surprise at being miscategorized, I began to analyze why I was upset over this at all. After all, a job title doesn’t even begin to describe the complex, multi-faceted individual that I am. A simple little change in the job description at the end of my columns will fix it, so what’s the big deal?
I chalk up my agitation to the holidays. Nothing like getting together with extended family that you only have minimal contact throughout the year for several days of forced intimacy to get your guard up. As the youngest of 8 children, I constantly battle the illusion in my siblings’ minds that I’m a hot-headed 12 year old agitator, not the passionate 40+ idealist that I’ve become. And, conversely, I’m not entirely sure who THEY are, either. Sometimes I think that we should all take some type of survey in advance of the gathering, so we don’t have to spend the entire brief time span lamenting the fact that no one understands who we are anymore.
Labels and job descriptions give people a jumping-off point, a way to fix in their minds the character, tone, and direction of conversation. Every networking group I attend stresses the importance of the 30-second “elevator speech”, where you neatly sum up your job and interests in an effort to entice the other person to find out more about you. When done well, you can find out a lot about a person in a very short span of time. Developing a good one forces you to focus on what’s important to you, which is a key component to being successful in your life.
When labels are too limiting, skewed, or just plain wrong, they can have devastating effects. Just look at any political campaign for a myriad of examples. The terms “liberal” and “conservative” were both used to bludgeon the voters into toeing the party line. Even the word “patriotic” got sullied by candidates and their handlers, all in an effort to win the electorate’s hearts and minds. Prejudices creep silently into conversations if one isn’t aware of their words, too. That’s why it is so important to weigh what you say, since you can’t un-say things. You can pull the nail out of the board, but the hole still remains.
So what do you do if you are trying not to pigeon-hole yourself and others into a narrow little box? It’s actually very simple, yet extremely difficult at the same time: you have to take the time to actually listen. I know, I know, this is a tall order for today’s sound-bite generation, but even 30 seconds is asking a lot of some folks, let alone 30 minutes. It’s undeniable that the more our lives speed up, the greater the need to slow down at times. That’s why I personally have carved out one night each week just for me. Sometimes it’s spent with family, playing games or enjoying an outing together, other times it’s with friends, and still others, my most treasured times, it’s spent in a nice hot tub filled with Epsom Salts and orange peels.
Looking through your heart instead of your eyes is another way to get around the label game. After all, the executives at Enron looked great on paper and even more impressive in person with their designer suits and elegant homes, but their hearts were shriveled and lifeless, polluted with selfish desires for their personal gain. Years of being in sales positions taught me that some co-workers would gladly stab you in the back just for a couple of bucks. Look in the mirror, and if you see that person staring back, perhaps it’s time for some personal introspection. No one needs that kind of negative energy polluting their environment.
At the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter if people think I’m a Realtor, a Feng Shui consultant, or a glow-in-the-dark alien from the planet Krelzop. I know who I am, and I’m happy to share that with anyone who is interested. Hello, my name is Beverly. Would you like to get to know each other over some tea? My treat!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
The Fat Lady Has Sung!
Oh, I am so happy that the elections are over! It's even better that my candidate of choice won! I am thrilled for the prospect of having a highly educated man in office for a change. I am also extremely grateful for the excellent choices of people that he will surround himself with. I am encouraged by the causes that his wife will pursue, and will keep them all in a protective bubble in my mind. Positive thinking can do wonders, and I am finding myself correcting a lot of naysayers and doom-n-gloomers again. It's unfortunate that so many people are focusing on what didn't happen and what might happen instead of being grateful to be a part of this historic event.
I am, however, exceedingly grateful for the excellent Secret Service contingent that has been charged with the Obama's safety!
Now, time to wear purple!
I am, however, exceedingly grateful for the excellent Secret Service contingent that has been charged with the Obama's safety!
Now, time to wear purple!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Dangerous Times...
I helped usher in a new decade last night. I showed my 11 1/2 yr old the proper way to shave her legs. Not that I really wanted to give in to this rite of passage, but the simple fact is, she's getting older. Really, there is no need to defoliate her lower appendages, but the opportunity presented itself, and I gave her some pointers that hopefully will help her avoid becoming a walking scab like I was at her age.
It was another wonderful example of how time just doesn't care whether you are "ready", it just keeps moving forward.
Kathryn just kept commenting on how "dangerous" she felt, as she wielded that blade against her virgin skin. I found myself praying that this would be the most dangerous thing she would have to deal with for many, many years. After all, another friend told a story at the local Girl Scout leader meeting about her own daughter's recent exposure to, well, exposure. A man in a pick-up truck had asked her & her friend to direct him to the high school as they walked home from school, and proceeded to unleash the family jewels. Ick. It's been a topic of conversation around our house, to be sure. Why some men get their jollies that way, I'll never know...
Well, I'm off to be dangerous myself. I'm going to get my hair cut, and it may end up really short! It's a challenge for me to think about getting rid of my long locks, especially afte being bald for nearly a year, but the ends are so damaged that they just look awful. I'm also redefining my need for color, which is proving to be an interesting study in perceptions, too. More on that later, though...the experiment is not over!
In the meantime, do something out of your comfort zone today. Just for me, but mostly, just for your own soul's happiness!
It was another wonderful example of how time just doesn't care whether you are "ready", it just keeps moving forward.
Kathryn just kept commenting on how "dangerous" she felt, as she wielded that blade against her virgin skin. I found myself praying that this would be the most dangerous thing she would have to deal with for many, many years. After all, another friend told a story at the local Girl Scout leader meeting about her own daughter's recent exposure to, well, exposure. A man in a pick-up truck had asked her & her friend to direct him to the high school as they walked home from school, and proceeded to unleash the family jewels. Ick. It's been a topic of conversation around our house, to be sure. Why some men get their jollies that way, I'll never know...
Well, I'm off to be dangerous myself. I'm going to get my hair cut, and it may end up really short! It's a challenge for me to think about getting rid of my long locks, especially afte being bald for nearly a year, but the ends are so damaged that they just look awful. I'm also redefining my need for color, which is proving to be an interesting study in perceptions, too. More on that later, though...the experiment is not over!
In the meantime, do something out of your comfort zone today. Just for me, but mostly, just for your own soul's happiness!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Happy Valley?
There are some days that you wish would never end. This last weekend was one of those times. The weather in the Wasatch acted as if it had been storing up its best days for me, with warm fall days, gentle breezes, and wispy white clouds wafting lazily through the mountain peaks. I soaked it up gleefully, knowing that it was soon to be merely a memory. And that's OK.
It's always hard to return to a place that you loved so much during your lifetime, because it's the good times that stay in the forefront of your cerebral cortex. It requires a real effort of will to bring back the negatives, unless there's something to jar your reverie.
On the front page of the Salt Lake Tribune last Saturday, there was an article publicizing a conference for ex-Mormons. It crystallized the feeling that I couldn't put into words so many years ago, and I just wanted to tell these poor attendees, "Let it GO!" What is it about this religion that inspires so much energy to be expended on telling the world that they no longer want to be a part of it? After all, the opposite of love is not hate; it's indifference.
One possible explanation is that being a part of the LDS culture is far more than just attending church. You have an entire social structure that takes over nearly all of your free time. Families are split because of the different choices made, and suddenly Family Home Evening is incomplete. Church attendance moves from an activity of bonding to one of breakage.
I get that. I grew up Catholic, and struggled for years to get my family members to understand my evolving views. I fought with them, argued my points, did my best to "show them the light", and it didn't do any good. It wasn't until fairly recently that I gave up. I realized that I was the problem, not them. Suddenly, it was no longer important for me to fight that particular battle. It was so liberating to realize that my truth didn't have to become their truth in order for it to be valid! Many people would say, "Well, duh!", but it was a pretty big Ah-Ha moment for me.
So, when that article brought this dichotomy back to the forefront for me, I was able to verbalize my inherent discomfort for being back in the Land of Zion - it felt like a war zone! One of ideals, yes, but quite confrontational nonetheless. One of the sayings in Unity, the church that I attend these days, is that "what you resist, persists". By resisting the opportunity to live in harmony (or at the very least, indifference) with their Mormon neighbors, these folks attending the conference are making sure that discord continues. It takes two to fight, and every parent knows that even a belligerent teen will eventually get bored if you don't allow yourself to get pulled into a heated discussion.
I also understand the need to be among others of like mind, so I certainly don't begrudge the conference attendees and organizers. I got a lot out of the cancer support group I attended over 6 years ago now. There is a time and a place for these things, but there is also a danger of making it into your drama story, instead of a footnote in the biography.
All things being equal, though, I would consider a move back to Utah, since those lovely mountains are always there to provide instant spiritual sustenance and a reconnection to what really matters. But I might end up as one of those crazy mountain folks with a bunch of animals running around, sitting on my porch as the world bustles on by... yeah, I think I could handle that, too. These days it doesn't sound so crazy after all!
It's always hard to return to a place that you loved so much during your lifetime, because it's the good times that stay in the forefront of your cerebral cortex. It requires a real effort of will to bring back the negatives, unless there's something to jar your reverie.
On the front page of the Salt Lake Tribune last Saturday, there was an article publicizing a conference for ex-Mormons. It crystallized the feeling that I couldn't put into words so many years ago, and I just wanted to tell these poor attendees, "Let it GO!" What is it about this religion that inspires so much energy to be expended on telling the world that they no longer want to be a part of it? After all, the opposite of love is not hate; it's indifference.
One possible explanation is that being a part of the LDS culture is far more than just attending church. You have an entire social structure that takes over nearly all of your free time. Families are split because of the different choices made, and suddenly Family Home Evening is incomplete. Church attendance moves from an activity of bonding to one of breakage.
I get that. I grew up Catholic, and struggled for years to get my family members to understand my evolving views. I fought with them, argued my points, did my best to "show them the light", and it didn't do any good. It wasn't until fairly recently that I gave up. I realized that I was the problem, not them. Suddenly, it was no longer important for me to fight that particular battle. It was so liberating to realize that my truth didn't have to become their truth in order for it to be valid! Many people would say, "Well, duh!", but it was a pretty big Ah-Ha moment for me.
So, when that article brought this dichotomy back to the forefront for me, I was able to verbalize my inherent discomfort for being back in the Land of Zion - it felt like a war zone! One of ideals, yes, but quite confrontational nonetheless. One of the sayings in Unity, the church that I attend these days, is that "what you resist, persists". By resisting the opportunity to live in harmony (or at the very least, indifference) with their Mormon neighbors, these folks attending the conference are making sure that discord continues. It takes two to fight, and every parent knows that even a belligerent teen will eventually get bored if you don't allow yourself to get pulled into a heated discussion.
I also understand the need to be among others of like mind, so I certainly don't begrudge the conference attendees and organizers. I got a lot out of the cancer support group I attended over 6 years ago now. There is a time and a place for these things, but there is also a danger of making it into your drama story, instead of a footnote in the biography.
All things being equal, though, I would consider a move back to Utah, since those lovely mountains are always there to provide instant spiritual sustenance and a reconnection to what really matters. But I might end up as one of those crazy mountain folks with a bunch of animals running around, sitting on my porch as the world bustles on by... yeah, I think I could handle that, too. These days it doesn't sound so crazy after all!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Vacation!
I'm salivating. Not because I have a wonderful meal awaiting me, but instead, gorgeous terrain! I'm off to Salt Lake City tomorrow! The mountains and the trees await, as well as many wonderful friends. But mostly the mountains! The spiritual connection with them is intense, and it is through their power that my own batteries will be recharged. Trees help, but a hike in the woods of Texas is just not the same as a hike in the forests of Utah.
Then again, you don't have to shovel sunshine, and we have plenty of oxygen in our fair state!
Then again, you don't have to shovel sunshine, and we have plenty of oxygen in our fair state!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Visions of Grandeur
I had an interesting conversation with my mother in law this morning. She's in town to make sure the kids don't burn the house down while I'm taking a class and my husband is hunting in the mountains of Colorado. My last article in the DMN mentioned the bankruptcy that my parents had to file during the mid-80's, and she was horrified that I had revealed that. In her mind, bankruptcy is akin to telling everyone that you have a venereal disease, apparently. No wonder, since she is still smarting from losing a huge chunk of her retirement nest egg, and she blames frivolous bankruptcies in part for the economic flame-out.
However, I don't view what my parents went through as shameful. They were the hardest-working people I know. Farmers everywhere take out short-term loans to purchase seed, fertilizer, equipment repairs, and fuel to run the behemoths that modern farming require to make a living. Back in the 80's, many weather-related issues made prompt repayment difficult, and hundreds of small family farms went under. We were able to maintain core acreage, but in order to stave off the banker's grasp, 1,000 acres were reduced to only 300. I was in college at the time, and it was largely out of view for me, though the stress and anxiety were written all over my parents' faces when I came home for visits.
Today, however, I understand Anna's position. She has neighbors who financed a total house remodel, only to file for bankruptcy to avoid paying the bill. We all hear about the people who run their credit cards to the hilt and then slide out from underneath their responsibilities with no apparent recourse for the people waiting to get their money. Many new regulations have been put into place to make bankruptcy a less attractive option, but it's been a popular way to go for far too long. Should the stigma of Chapter 7 be reactivated? Wouldn't hurt, but I'm afraid that's a bit like closing the barn doors after all of the horses have escaped.
We're in for a major paradigm shift in this nation. No longer will the free and easy credit be so easy to obtain, and that's going to slow down runaway consumption in a hurry. Right now, I'm in the midst of a major dilemma to allow my children to run off to Target to blow their allowance on frivolous things like video games and CD's, or to stand my ground and insist that they leave it in their savings. Naturally, they are all for spending MY money, but far less enthusiastic about spending their own. Funny how that works...
Now, suddenly people are waking up to the realization that our own government has been acting like the spoiled brats that inhabit our schools, and it's ugly. After all, we gave them tacit permission to run rampant with our money, and they had a blast! Like all parties, though, it has ended, and this is going to be a doozy of a hangover.
We're all guilty of believing that "we're worth it", and "we've worked hard, so I deserve a break today". Great advertising slogans, and not necessarily false. However, we've taken them to extremes by taking more "breaks" than work, and our over-inflated sense of self has become an obsession with superficiality. While I don't welcome the steep decline in my retirement account or the oppressive sense of gloom and doom in society, I'm glad for the return to reality. Seriously, who needs a $90 mani/pedi - for their dog? Fifi will just have slum it for a while with the rest of us, at least until we as a whole regain our senses, stop the panic selling, and allow the markets to normalize.
Our new normal will require internal realignment, and that will become evident in our external environment. That's why I got interested in Feng Shui, since that's what it's all about. I've been getting a lot more interest in my chosen career, and little by little, my clients are making small changes that add up to big advances in their lives. It's wonderful to be able to have a small part in their personal journeys. But that's another story....
However, I don't view what my parents went through as shameful. They were the hardest-working people I know. Farmers everywhere take out short-term loans to purchase seed, fertilizer, equipment repairs, and fuel to run the behemoths that modern farming require to make a living. Back in the 80's, many weather-related issues made prompt repayment difficult, and hundreds of small family farms went under. We were able to maintain core acreage, but in order to stave off the banker's grasp, 1,000 acres were reduced to only 300. I was in college at the time, and it was largely out of view for me, though the stress and anxiety were written all over my parents' faces when I came home for visits.
Today, however, I understand Anna's position. She has neighbors who financed a total house remodel, only to file for bankruptcy to avoid paying the bill. We all hear about the people who run their credit cards to the hilt and then slide out from underneath their responsibilities with no apparent recourse for the people waiting to get their money. Many new regulations have been put into place to make bankruptcy a less attractive option, but it's been a popular way to go for far too long. Should the stigma of Chapter 7 be reactivated? Wouldn't hurt, but I'm afraid that's a bit like closing the barn doors after all of the horses have escaped.
We're in for a major paradigm shift in this nation. No longer will the free and easy credit be so easy to obtain, and that's going to slow down runaway consumption in a hurry. Right now, I'm in the midst of a major dilemma to allow my children to run off to Target to blow their allowance on frivolous things like video games and CD's, or to stand my ground and insist that they leave it in their savings. Naturally, they are all for spending MY money, but far less enthusiastic about spending their own. Funny how that works...
Now, suddenly people are waking up to the realization that our own government has been acting like the spoiled brats that inhabit our schools, and it's ugly. After all, we gave them tacit permission to run rampant with our money, and they had a blast! Like all parties, though, it has ended, and this is going to be a doozy of a hangover.
We're all guilty of believing that "we're worth it", and "we've worked hard, so I deserve a break today". Great advertising slogans, and not necessarily false. However, we've taken them to extremes by taking more "breaks" than work, and our over-inflated sense of self has become an obsession with superficiality. While I don't welcome the steep decline in my retirement account or the oppressive sense of gloom and doom in society, I'm glad for the return to reality. Seriously, who needs a $90 mani/pedi - for their dog? Fifi will just have slum it for a while with the rest of us, at least until we as a whole regain our senses, stop the panic selling, and allow the markets to normalize.
Our new normal will require internal realignment, and that will become evident in our external environment. That's why I got interested in Feng Shui, since that's what it's all about. I've been getting a lot more interest in my chosen career, and little by little, my clients are making small changes that add up to big advances in their lives. It's wonderful to be able to have a small part in their personal journeys. But that's another story....
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Staying In vs. Going Out
I had an interesting conversation yesterday with a client. She commented that since she lost nearly 25% of her 401K in the crashing stock market, she really doesn't feel like going out much. This, from one of the most dynamic women leaders I know! It really isn't surprising to hear this, though. Fear is rampant, and while our physicial security isn't under siege, our financial security seems to be threatened on all sides.
I have had almost the opposite reaction to all of this mess: I'm out and about more now than I have been in ages! I'm not spending a lot of money, but I have been going out of my way to find joy. Compliment new glasses on a colleague? Check. Call my daughter to have her see the sunset? Check. Cheer my son on at his football game, and stay to cheer his friends at theirs? Check! I've also been participating in lots of networking meetings and focus groups to increase the odds of finding new clients. Magical thinking isn't going to solve this economic crisis, just as it doesn't heal a body from a devastating illness. However, by staying positive and open to receiving the good that is out there, we'll be able to recognize it when it crosses our path.
It's not work when your heart sings!
I have had almost the opposite reaction to all of this mess: I'm out and about more now than I have been in ages! I'm not spending a lot of money, but I have been going out of my way to find joy. Compliment new glasses on a colleague? Check. Call my daughter to have her see the sunset? Check. Cheer my son on at his football game, and stay to cheer his friends at theirs? Check! I've also been participating in lots of networking meetings and focus groups to increase the odds of finding new clients. Magical thinking isn't going to solve this economic crisis, just as it doesn't heal a body from a devastating illness. However, by staying positive and open to receiving the good that is out there, we'll be able to recognize it when it crosses our path.
It's not work when your heart sings!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Beyond Dire Headlines
(published in the Dallas Morning News, 9/29/08)
The news lately appears to be written by Chicken Little. "The Sky is Falling! The Dow is Falling! Our Profits are Falling!" It's enough to make you swear off poultry. However, few things can prepare you for the day when your children ask about the headline: "Worst financial crisis since the Great Depression!"
"We don't have any stocks, do we, Mom?" asked my eighth-grade son with trepidation. I soft-pedaled the danger to his college fund to stop the panic in his face. I wasn't lying about it, just drawing on my own experience with financial turmoil. My parents, who were farmers, had to file bankruptcy during my first year in college, and I learned that there are many ways to get an education if you want it badly enough. I briefly explained that it's all cyclical, and that it's wise to never let current events cloud the knowledge that the only constant is change.
Ever since Alexander Hamilton advocated that we actively pursue national debt, our country has built itself around "buy now, pay later." Credit cards were invented to allow citizens the same privilege. After all, when the car breaks down for good, most people don't have the extra $30,000 in the bank to pay cash for a new one. Small businesses need to have access to capital if they are to grow, and so on.
Still, I'm amazed at the lack of working knowledge people have about money management and investing. Since money is at the heart of so many things, why are we so afraid of it? Studies consistently show that the happiest people in the world are those who have the least, yet Americans tend to be fixated on what we don't have, rather than what we do have. Self-esteem has become inexorably linked with how much something costs. The reality is that no matter how hard you try, you can't buy your way to a contented soul.
My favorite saying these days is: "This too shall pass." I even had a friend create a bracelet for me to remind me to maintain perspective. Many people fall back on this phrase when bad things happen in their lives, knowing that ultimately better days are ahead. But I've been concentrating on it when in the midst of that perfect, glorious day that I wish would never end. It always does, so I do my utmost to enjoy every single magnificent second. Bobby McFerrin had a very catchy tune many years ago called, "Don't Worry, Be Happy." It's a rather Pollyanna-ish song that many disregard as a slacker mantra, but I look at it as a reminder to find joy in everyday events.
We made it out of the crisis in the 1930s, and we'll make it out of this one, too. Long-term leadership strategies made the difference then, and lots of personal sacrifice was required as well. Yes, we will all have to pay more taxes, make do with less and suffer indignities such as not getting the latest fashions and walking to school. Some will still find ways to succeed, while others will succumb to the doom-and-gloom mentality that pervades the news.
Accountability, both personal and national, needs to become the mantra, since we all worked the system to get to this point. Regardless of which candidate wins the upcoming election, we will eventually do what Americans have done for generations: Pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and improve the outdated notions that aren't working. And maybe this time, we'll remember the lessons learned.
The news lately appears to be written by Chicken Little. "The Sky is Falling! The Dow is Falling! Our Profits are Falling!" It's enough to make you swear off poultry. However, few things can prepare you for the day when your children ask about the headline: "Worst financial crisis since the Great Depression!"
"We don't have any stocks, do we, Mom?" asked my eighth-grade son with trepidation. I soft-pedaled the danger to his college fund to stop the panic in his face. I wasn't lying about it, just drawing on my own experience with financial turmoil. My parents, who were farmers, had to file bankruptcy during my first year in college, and I learned that there are many ways to get an education if you want it badly enough. I briefly explained that it's all cyclical, and that it's wise to never let current events cloud the knowledge that the only constant is change.
Ever since Alexander Hamilton advocated that we actively pursue national debt, our country has built itself around "buy now, pay later." Credit cards were invented to allow citizens the same privilege. After all, when the car breaks down for good, most people don't have the extra $30,000 in the bank to pay cash for a new one. Small businesses need to have access to capital if they are to grow, and so on.
Still, I'm amazed at the lack of working knowledge people have about money management and investing. Since money is at the heart of so many things, why are we so afraid of it? Studies consistently show that the happiest people in the world are those who have the least, yet Americans tend to be fixated on what we don't have, rather than what we do have. Self-esteem has become inexorably linked with how much something costs. The reality is that no matter how hard you try, you can't buy your way to a contented soul.
My favorite saying these days is: "This too shall pass." I even had a friend create a bracelet for me to remind me to maintain perspective. Many people fall back on this phrase when bad things happen in their lives, knowing that ultimately better days are ahead. But I've been concentrating on it when in the midst of that perfect, glorious day that I wish would never end. It always does, so I do my utmost to enjoy every single magnificent second. Bobby McFerrin had a very catchy tune many years ago called, "Don't Worry, Be Happy." It's a rather Pollyanna-ish song that many disregard as a slacker mantra, but I look at it as a reminder to find joy in everyday events.
We made it out of the crisis in the 1930s, and we'll make it out of this one, too. Long-term leadership strategies made the difference then, and lots of personal sacrifice was required as well. Yes, we will all have to pay more taxes, make do with less and suffer indignities such as not getting the latest fashions and walking to school. Some will still find ways to succeed, while others will succumb to the doom-and-gloom mentality that pervades the news.
Accountability, both personal and national, needs to become the mantra, since we all worked the system to get to this point. Regardless of which candidate wins the upcoming election, we will eventually do what Americans have done for generations: Pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and improve the outdated notions that aren't working. And maybe this time, we'll remember the lessons learned.
My first national exposure!
Wow, I'm so excited! I've been quoted in the online version of TIME magazine! http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1846068-1,00.html
Since this article called me a blogger, I suppose I should finally get one going. I've been writing articles for the Dallas Morning News as a Voices columnist for nearly 9 months, which is how I got noticed. It's gratifying to see that a positive voice in the wilderness of negativity is being heard. We have a lot of fear spreading mistrust, hatred, and ill health, and I'll do anything that I can do to help people regain some perspective on their situation. I learned that from my wonderful husband of 18 years. He often told me during my cancer treatments "don't let the highs get too high or the lows too low". That's why I've labeled my blog t2sp: This Too Shall Pass. Everything changes, so enjoy the good times fully, and let the bad ones pass through you. It's all good, if you look hard enough!
Since this article called me a blogger, I suppose I should finally get one going. I've been writing articles for the Dallas Morning News as a Voices columnist for nearly 9 months, which is how I got noticed. It's gratifying to see that a positive voice in the wilderness of negativity is being heard. We have a lot of fear spreading mistrust, hatred, and ill health, and I'll do anything that I can do to help people regain some perspective on their situation. I learned that from my wonderful husband of 18 years. He often told me during my cancer treatments "don't let the highs get too high or the lows too low". That's why I've labeled my blog t2sp: This Too Shall Pass. Everything changes, so enjoy the good times fully, and let the bad ones pass through you. It's all good, if you look hard enough!
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