Lent - the metaphysical way!

I grew up Catholic, so Lenten Observations were de rigeur during childhood. Now that I no longer claim that particular church as my home, I still find myself drawn to the practice of abstaining from something that is important to you, in hopes of becoming more appreciative of what you already have. I've watched my Muslim friends go for the entire period of Ramadan without food or water during the day, and have seen how it can strengthen one's faith and character, and know that anytime one does something that changes your focus, it can be a very good thing.

But changing that focus from what you CAN'T have to what you CAN is easier said than done.

I've given up meat. Since I'm still allowing myself fish on Fridays, I guess that makes me a pescatarian rather than a vegetarian, but still, it's veggie heaven for me, at least for the next 40 days. My spiritual mentor became a vegetarian after he began seriously studying religion and metaphysics, stating that the karmic load for most meat is just too much to deal with, and it seems to work well for him. I'll be curious to see how I fare during these next few weeks.

Instead of lamenting the lack of lard, I'll embrace the loads of leaves out there. I'm also doing an internal cleanse, accompanied by a variety of other healing methods. This includes leaving behind my Southern Living at HOME business and all of the negative stuff that came with that. I'm keeping the positive experiences from it, though, of which there were many. I'm also releasing much of my cluttered paperwork, though that is almost harder to do than giving up my cheeseburger.

So, for now, I'll pretend that all animals are sacred cows. I'll give thanks for the bounty of our harvests, and enjoy the gratitude that each meal brings. And who knows? Maybe I'll even lose a few pounds! :-)

Twilight - or how I found my childhood again..

Re-entry sucks...

You see, I let my daughter and her Girl Scout troop members convince me that I needed to read the Twilight series. We saw the movie when it came out, and I really hadn't given it much more thought. That is, until those sweet eyes of my daughter and her friends got all gaga whenever the subject of vampire love came around, and Kathryn nearly tore my head off when I talked about delaying the purchase of book 4 until Christmas. I decided I needed to witness this phenomenon first-hand. After all, I finally finished listening to the Harry Potter series last month, and my eyes could use some new words to chew on. How could another series be a bad thing? I'm an adult, have grown-up responsibilities, and a well-developed sense of self-control. I wasn't in any danger of becoming the ravenous beastie that my 11-yr-old became during her time with the residents of Forks, WA. Right?

I made my way through the first one in about a week, thinking that I had been pretty quick about it, considering my busy schedule. Then I came down with a mild case of the flu, or a cold, or allergies...whatever the diagnosis, it felt right to spend more time relaxing with a good book instead of pushing myself to do more. And that's when it happened....

I got sucked in.

Suddenly, the world of vampires, werewolves, and the rainy Northwest town became more real, more urgent, and more compelling than I could have ever imagined. The words of the author reeled me in with her clarity of the mix of relationships and her evocative descriptions of passions both hostile and sensual. I ceased, ever so briefly, to care about the housework, the piles of dishes, even my emails. It was bliss!

Yes, by the final third of the 4th book, I was relieved that I was nearly through with the 700+ tomes, but mainly because the rest of the family was tired of being ignored and their patience with my obsession was wearing thin. Still, I honestly can't remember the last time that I allowed myself the joy of complete abandon like that.

I'm a very responsible person, sometimes to a fault. Even when I go on vacation, there tends to be an underlying purpose to it. Maybe a class is involved, a friend to visit, a family gathering to attend, but rarely do I do anything "just because". Yes, this began as a way to bond with the 7 girls who are currently in the troop, all 6th graders, but that was only the first book. The last three were purely for my own selfish purposes.

I wasn't prepared for the onslaught of emotions that poured over my soul. My passions were stirred by the descriptions of young love, and much of the phrasing reminded me of how I felt when I first started dating my husband. It wasn't that long ago, really, even though the mirror is sharing all of our gradually-acquired wrinkles. The isolation of a teen girl who just didn't fit into the small town life also rang true for me, though I never had the option to live anywhere else. How the realizations of how the little joys of that same life would overshadow the larger adventures, and how relationships were the true measure of happiness were key in my own life.

But most of all, I got to pretend, for a few blissful days, that I was someone else. I stopped "Do-ing" and became a human "Be-ing". I played! I don't allow myself the freedom to do that very often, and it felt really good.

Now, I don't foresee this type of literary marathon happening anytime again soon, since my back has made it perfectly clear that it doesn't appreciate being curled up for hours on end with a book in my lap, but it did put a small chink in my Work Harder armor. I have felt like I was sucking air in through a straw for many years through my thick metal suit, and taking this break was akin to lifting the helmet off and allowing a breath of fresh air in. I'm not quite ready to take off the whole thing just yet, but I'm fitting myself for some virtual chainmail in preparation for the day when I can chunk the heavy-duty protection for something lighter. Something that will still allow me to stay safe, yet move freely to dance and enjoy the music of life.

Something that will allow me to once again chase after the butterflies of my childhood and to pause long enough to name the shapes in the clouds. To Just BE!!

So, for now, I'll let the memories of Bella, Edward, Jacob, and the rest of the Twilight crowd integrate into my mind, while relishing the new understanding of those precious 6th grade girls who are still seriously crushing over those unattainable figures of supernatural masculinity. I've got my own reality to enjoy, for I am the author and creator of it. And that's better than any book out there. Well, maybe... :-)

Thanks, Stephanie Meyer! It was worth every minute!

Happy Valentine's Day to ME!!

I'm a sucker for sentiment. There, I admit it! That's why in the past it had been so disappointing to me that my darling husband just refused to buy into the Hallmark Holiday of Institutional Romance. We have never gone out for a romantic dinner in a restaurant on that day, nor have I been showered with massive bouquets of over-priced roses draped with diamonds. Usually the most that I could expect was a nice dinner at home, a card, and the occasional box of chocolates.

So, you can imagine my surprise when this year rolled around and there wasn't a single thing that he had done for me! I had purchased the chocolates for the kids, I got the ingredients for our nice dinner, and I had even gotten my own flowers. Because I knew he was so anti-holiday, I didn't even bother giving him a card. If he wasn't such a fantastic, romantic, helpful man all of the other days of the year, I'd be really bummed, but because he is, he gets a pass on all of the hoopla.

The day went along just fine, until the afternoon. It was a beautiful day, and he wanted to go for a walk with the dogs. We live close to the Tachyas Trail in east Frisco, and it's refreshingly wooded. After about a half mile of listening to Mocha cough and hack her way along the sidewalk, we stopped at the creek to give her trachea time to expand. I read the plaques that explained the origin of some of the landmark's names, and then noticed a bright green ribbon and an envelope tied to one of the old, gnarled trees alongside the walkway.

"How sweet! Wonder if it's a marriage proposal?"

"Why don't you go check it out?"

It was for me! My darling sweetheart of 18+ years had remembered my dismayed comment about not having any large trees around to lean on when I'm troubled, and had scoped out one that "spoke" to him. I love going for walks in nature when life gets complicated, and we only have scrawny shrubs in our neighborhood. What better present could there be than to know that I've been heard? That I'm loved for exactly who I am?

It was the best Valentine's Day EVER!!

Gardening woes

I think Mother Nature is conspiring against me. It seems that every time I get geared up to do yard work, a cold front moves in. OK, I know that 40 degrees doesn't qualify for an official cold front to most people, but add a nice 15 MPH wind, and it's pretty uncomfortable out there. I'm just getting over a bout w/ the latest version of a head cold, so there's no compelling reason to push my immune system.

Or is there? After all, playing in the dirt is a wonderful way to get your beneficial bacteria, and studies are showing all the time that the cleanest homes are often the sickest homes. Plus, I love having my own backyard produce, even if our new puppy will probably enjoy it more than we will. I'm just unwilling to do it all RIGHT NOW, apparently.

In the meantime, I'll have to gaze lovingly at my Mother Jones magazine and plot out my plots on paper, pick out my peat moss, and pester my progeny to pick up their rooms....