It's always exciting and bewildering at the same time to get a comparison to a celebrity. In my younger days, Geena Davis was a common comment, along with Paulina Porizkova (the Czech supermodel who married the lead singer from Cars, Ric Ocasik? Remember?). Well, now the leading look-alike seems to be none other than the Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin. Of course, that's only when I wear my glasses, which tends to be a relatively rare occurrence. As luck would have it, though, one of those times was when I attended the Voices columnists' training session a couple of months ago for the Dallas Morning News. My eyes were not in the mood for contacts, so rather than fight it, I went for the totally new look.
While I'm not a huge fan of Mrs. Palin's politics, she is an attractive woman who isn't afraid to speak her mind. I think we could have a lot of fun camping out together, as long as she wasn't in the frame of mind to field-dress any wild game. Hey, I've "processed" quite a few chickens in my time growing up on a KS farm, and that is not an activity that is high on my list of experiences...but I digress. The simple fact is, she's made glasses cool again, and I really appreciate her doing that for the rest of America. Thanks, Sarah!
Now if I could just figure out why another friend of mine thought I looked like David Bowie...that was certainly a new one for me! Oh, and for the record, these frames are nothing like hers, but I'll still view any physical comparisons as a compliment. Bowie, on the other hand, not so much, but it could be fun to parade around like Ziggy Stardust for a while!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
Nyquil Kisses and Cold Feet
Ah, Fall! When the bedtime routine consists of putting on old socks to keep your tootsies from freezing, and the smell of Mentholatum and Nyquil fills the air along with the sounds of a phlegmatic's raspy grasp for a deep breath. It's that time of the season when the crunch of the leaves wafts mold & old pollen up through the arboreal jaunts, and the sinus passages find new things to be irritated by. That's when you know what true love is all about.
It's a helpless feeling to watch as your family tries to rid itself of that extra lung. It's even more challenging to snuggle up with someone as their body collapses in paroxyms of coughs, making the cuddle time more of a moving-target time. Still, it's because of these moments that I appreciate all of the healthy ones that we can spend together, making me appreciate my trips to the gym all the more rewarding. Thanks, God, for another day of being able to breathe easily and move relatively pain-free!
It's a helpless feeling to watch as your family tries to rid itself of that extra lung. It's even more challenging to snuggle up with someone as their body collapses in paroxyms of coughs, making the cuddle time more of a moving-target time. Still, it's because of these moments that I appreciate all of the healthy ones that we can spend together, making me appreciate my trips to the gym all the more rewarding. Thanks, God, for another day of being able to breathe easily and move relatively pain-free!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Labels
OK, let me say for the record: I’m not a Realtor! Well, technically, I am, since I hold a valid license, though I haven’t been active for over a year. Why all of the uproar over this? I was introduced as a Realtor for my job title for the Dallas Morning News Voices gang! It was simply a mistake, since I had held that title in the past, but that’s not the hat I wear these days (for the record, I’m a Feng Shui consultant, home stager, and life coach).
Still, once I got over my surprise at being miscategorized, I began to analyze why I was upset over this at all. After all, a job title doesn’t even begin to describe the complex, multi-faceted individual that I am. A simple little change in the job description at the end of my columns will fix it, so what’s the big deal?
I chalk up my agitation to the holidays. Nothing like getting together with extended family that you only have minimal contact throughout the year for several days of forced intimacy to get your guard up. As the youngest of 8 children, I constantly battle the illusion in my siblings’ minds that I’m a hot-headed 12 year old agitator, not the passionate 40+ idealist that I’ve become. And, conversely, I’m not entirely sure who THEY are, either. Sometimes I think that we should all take some type of survey in advance of the gathering, so we don’t have to spend the entire brief time span lamenting the fact that no one understands who we are anymore.
Labels and job descriptions give people a jumping-off point, a way to fix in their minds the character, tone, and direction of conversation. Every networking group I attend stresses the importance of the 30-second “elevator speech”, where you neatly sum up your job and interests in an effort to entice the other person to find out more about you. When done well, you can find out a lot about a person in a very short span of time. Developing a good one forces you to focus on what’s important to you, which is a key component to being successful in your life.
When labels are too limiting, skewed, or just plain wrong, they can have devastating effects. Just look at any political campaign for a myriad of examples. The terms “liberal” and “conservative” were both used to bludgeon the voters into toeing the party line. Even the word “patriotic” got sullied by candidates and their handlers, all in an effort to win the electorate’s hearts and minds. Prejudices creep silently into conversations if one isn’t aware of their words, too. That’s why it is so important to weigh what you say, since you can’t un-say things. You can pull the nail out of the board, but the hole still remains.
So what do you do if you are trying not to pigeon-hole yourself and others into a narrow little box? It’s actually very simple, yet extremely difficult at the same time: you have to take the time to actually listen. I know, I know, this is a tall order for today’s sound-bite generation, but even 30 seconds is asking a lot of some folks, let alone 30 minutes. It’s undeniable that the more our lives speed up, the greater the need to slow down at times. That’s why I personally have carved out one night each week just for me. Sometimes it’s spent with family, playing games or enjoying an outing together, other times it’s with friends, and still others, my most treasured times, it’s spent in a nice hot tub filled with Epsom Salts and orange peels.
Looking through your heart instead of your eyes is another way to get around the label game. After all, the executives at Enron looked great on paper and even more impressive in person with their designer suits and elegant homes, but their hearts were shriveled and lifeless, polluted with selfish desires for their personal gain. Years of being in sales positions taught me that some co-workers would gladly stab you in the back just for a couple of bucks. Look in the mirror, and if you see that person staring back, perhaps it’s time for some personal introspection. No one needs that kind of negative energy polluting their environment.
At the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter if people think I’m a Realtor, a Feng Shui consultant, or a glow-in-the-dark alien from the planet Krelzop. I know who I am, and I’m happy to share that with anyone who is interested. Hello, my name is Beverly. Would you like to get to know each other over some tea? My treat!
Still, once I got over my surprise at being miscategorized, I began to analyze why I was upset over this at all. After all, a job title doesn’t even begin to describe the complex, multi-faceted individual that I am. A simple little change in the job description at the end of my columns will fix it, so what’s the big deal?
I chalk up my agitation to the holidays. Nothing like getting together with extended family that you only have minimal contact throughout the year for several days of forced intimacy to get your guard up. As the youngest of 8 children, I constantly battle the illusion in my siblings’ minds that I’m a hot-headed 12 year old agitator, not the passionate 40+ idealist that I’ve become. And, conversely, I’m not entirely sure who THEY are, either. Sometimes I think that we should all take some type of survey in advance of the gathering, so we don’t have to spend the entire brief time span lamenting the fact that no one understands who we are anymore.
Labels and job descriptions give people a jumping-off point, a way to fix in their minds the character, tone, and direction of conversation. Every networking group I attend stresses the importance of the 30-second “elevator speech”, where you neatly sum up your job and interests in an effort to entice the other person to find out more about you. When done well, you can find out a lot about a person in a very short span of time. Developing a good one forces you to focus on what’s important to you, which is a key component to being successful in your life.
When labels are too limiting, skewed, or just plain wrong, they can have devastating effects. Just look at any political campaign for a myriad of examples. The terms “liberal” and “conservative” were both used to bludgeon the voters into toeing the party line. Even the word “patriotic” got sullied by candidates and their handlers, all in an effort to win the electorate’s hearts and minds. Prejudices creep silently into conversations if one isn’t aware of their words, too. That’s why it is so important to weigh what you say, since you can’t un-say things. You can pull the nail out of the board, but the hole still remains.
So what do you do if you are trying not to pigeon-hole yourself and others into a narrow little box? It’s actually very simple, yet extremely difficult at the same time: you have to take the time to actually listen. I know, I know, this is a tall order for today’s sound-bite generation, but even 30 seconds is asking a lot of some folks, let alone 30 minutes. It’s undeniable that the more our lives speed up, the greater the need to slow down at times. That’s why I personally have carved out one night each week just for me. Sometimes it’s spent with family, playing games or enjoying an outing together, other times it’s with friends, and still others, my most treasured times, it’s spent in a nice hot tub filled with Epsom Salts and orange peels.
Looking through your heart instead of your eyes is another way to get around the label game. After all, the executives at Enron looked great on paper and even more impressive in person with their designer suits and elegant homes, but their hearts were shriveled and lifeless, polluted with selfish desires for their personal gain. Years of being in sales positions taught me that some co-workers would gladly stab you in the back just for a couple of bucks. Look in the mirror, and if you see that person staring back, perhaps it’s time for some personal introspection. No one needs that kind of negative energy polluting their environment.
At the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter if people think I’m a Realtor, a Feng Shui consultant, or a glow-in-the-dark alien from the planet Krelzop. I know who I am, and I’m happy to share that with anyone who is interested. Hello, my name is Beverly. Would you like to get to know each other over some tea? My treat!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
The Fat Lady Has Sung!
Oh, I am so happy that the elections are over! It's even better that my candidate of choice won! I am thrilled for the prospect of having a highly educated man in office for a change. I am also extremely grateful for the excellent choices of people that he will surround himself with. I am encouraged by the causes that his wife will pursue, and will keep them all in a protective bubble in my mind. Positive thinking can do wonders, and I am finding myself correcting a lot of naysayers and doom-n-gloomers again. It's unfortunate that so many people are focusing on what didn't happen and what might happen instead of being grateful to be a part of this historic event.
I am, however, exceedingly grateful for the excellent Secret Service contingent that has been charged with the Obama's safety!
Now, time to wear purple!
I am, however, exceedingly grateful for the excellent Secret Service contingent that has been charged with the Obama's safety!
Now, time to wear purple!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Dangerous Times...
I helped usher in a new decade last night. I showed my 11 1/2 yr old the proper way to shave her legs. Not that I really wanted to give in to this rite of passage, but the simple fact is, she's getting older. Really, there is no need to defoliate her lower appendages, but the opportunity presented itself, and I gave her some pointers that hopefully will help her avoid becoming a walking scab like I was at her age.
It was another wonderful example of how time just doesn't care whether you are "ready", it just keeps moving forward.
Kathryn just kept commenting on how "dangerous" she felt, as she wielded that blade against her virgin skin. I found myself praying that this would be the most dangerous thing she would have to deal with for many, many years. After all, another friend told a story at the local Girl Scout leader meeting about her own daughter's recent exposure to, well, exposure. A man in a pick-up truck had asked her & her friend to direct him to the high school as they walked home from school, and proceeded to unleash the family jewels. Ick. It's been a topic of conversation around our house, to be sure. Why some men get their jollies that way, I'll never know...
Well, I'm off to be dangerous myself. I'm going to get my hair cut, and it may end up really short! It's a challenge for me to think about getting rid of my long locks, especially afte being bald for nearly a year, but the ends are so damaged that they just look awful. I'm also redefining my need for color, which is proving to be an interesting study in perceptions, too. More on that later, though...the experiment is not over!
In the meantime, do something out of your comfort zone today. Just for me, but mostly, just for your own soul's happiness!
It was another wonderful example of how time just doesn't care whether you are "ready", it just keeps moving forward.
Kathryn just kept commenting on how "dangerous" she felt, as she wielded that blade against her virgin skin. I found myself praying that this would be the most dangerous thing she would have to deal with for many, many years. After all, another friend told a story at the local Girl Scout leader meeting about her own daughter's recent exposure to, well, exposure. A man in a pick-up truck had asked her & her friend to direct him to the high school as they walked home from school, and proceeded to unleash the family jewels. Ick. It's been a topic of conversation around our house, to be sure. Why some men get their jollies that way, I'll never know...
Well, I'm off to be dangerous myself. I'm going to get my hair cut, and it may end up really short! It's a challenge for me to think about getting rid of my long locks, especially afte being bald for nearly a year, but the ends are so damaged that they just look awful. I'm also redefining my need for color, which is proving to be an interesting study in perceptions, too. More on that later, though...the experiment is not over!
In the meantime, do something out of your comfort zone today. Just for me, but mostly, just for your own soul's happiness!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Happy Valley?
There are some days that you wish would never end. This last weekend was one of those times. The weather in the Wasatch acted as if it had been storing up its best days for me, with warm fall days, gentle breezes, and wispy white clouds wafting lazily through the mountain peaks. I soaked it up gleefully, knowing that it was soon to be merely a memory. And that's OK.
It's always hard to return to a place that you loved so much during your lifetime, because it's the good times that stay in the forefront of your cerebral cortex. It requires a real effort of will to bring back the negatives, unless there's something to jar your reverie.
On the front page of the Salt Lake Tribune last Saturday, there was an article publicizing a conference for ex-Mormons. It crystallized the feeling that I couldn't put into words so many years ago, and I just wanted to tell these poor attendees, "Let it GO!" What is it about this religion that inspires so much energy to be expended on telling the world that they no longer want to be a part of it? After all, the opposite of love is not hate; it's indifference.
One possible explanation is that being a part of the LDS culture is far more than just attending church. You have an entire social structure that takes over nearly all of your free time. Families are split because of the different choices made, and suddenly Family Home Evening is incomplete. Church attendance moves from an activity of bonding to one of breakage.
I get that. I grew up Catholic, and struggled for years to get my family members to understand my evolving views. I fought with them, argued my points, did my best to "show them the light", and it didn't do any good. It wasn't until fairly recently that I gave up. I realized that I was the problem, not them. Suddenly, it was no longer important for me to fight that particular battle. It was so liberating to realize that my truth didn't have to become their truth in order for it to be valid! Many people would say, "Well, duh!", but it was a pretty big Ah-Ha moment for me.
So, when that article brought this dichotomy back to the forefront for me, I was able to verbalize my inherent discomfort for being back in the Land of Zion - it felt like a war zone! One of ideals, yes, but quite confrontational nonetheless. One of the sayings in Unity, the church that I attend these days, is that "what you resist, persists". By resisting the opportunity to live in harmony (or at the very least, indifference) with their Mormon neighbors, these folks attending the conference are making sure that discord continues. It takes two to fight, and every parent knows that even a belligerent teen will eventually get bored if you don't allow yourself to get pulled into a heated discussion.
I also understand the need to be among others of like mind, so I certainly don't begrudge the conference attendees and organizers. I got a lot out of the cancer support group I attended over 6 years ago now. There is a time and a place for these things, but there is also a danger of making it into your drama story, instead of a footnote in the biography.
All things being equal, though, I would consider a move back to Utah, since those lovely mountains are always there to provide instant spiritual sustenance and a reconnection to what really matters. But I might end up as one of those crazy mountain folks with a bunch of animals running around, sitting on my porch as the world bustles on by... yeah, I think I could handle that, too. These days it doesn't sound so crazy after all!
It's always hard to return to a place that you loved so much during your lifetime, because it's the good times that stay in the forefront of your cerebral cortex. It requires a real effort of will to bring back the negatives, unless there's something to jar your reverie.
On the front page of the Salt Lake Tribune last Saturday, there was an article publicizing a conference for ex-Mormons. It crystallized the feeling that I couldn't put into words so many years ago, and I just wanted to tell these poor attendees, "Let it GO!" What is it about this religion that inspires so much energy to be expended on telling the world that they no longer want to be a part of it? After all, the opposite of love is not hate; it's indifference.
One possible explanation is that being a part of the LDS culture is far more than just attending church. You have an entire social structure that takes over nearly all of your free time. Families are split because of the different choices made, and suddenly Family Home Evening is incomplete. Church attendance moves from an activity of bonding to one of breakage.
I get that. I grew up Catholic, and struggled for years to get my family members to understand my evolving views. I fought with them, argued my points, did my best to "show them the light", and it didn't do any good. It wasn't until fairly recently that I gave up. I realized that I was the problem, not them. Suddenly, it was no longer important for me to fight that particular battle. It was so liberating to realize that my truth didn't have to become their truth in order for it to be valid! Many people would say, "Well, duh!", but it was a pretty big Ah-Ha moment for me.
So, when that article brought this dichotomy back to the forefront for me, I was able to verbalize my inherent discomfort for being back in the Land of Zion - it felt like a war zone! One of ideals, yes, but quite confrontational nonetheless. One of the sayings in Unity, the church that I attend these days, is that "what you resist, persists". By resisting the opportunity to live in harmony (or at the very least, indifference) with their Mormon neighbors, these folks attending the conference are making sure that discord continues. It takes two to fight, and every parent knows that even a belligerent teen will eventually get bored if you don't allow yourself to get pulled into a heated discussion.
I also understand the need to be among others of like mind, so I certainly don't begrudge the conference attendees and organizers. I got a lot out of the cancer support group I attended over 6 years ago now. There is a time and a place for these things, but there is also a danger of making it into your drama story, instead of a footnote in the biography.
All things being equal, though, I would consider a move back to Utah, since those lovely mountains are always there to provide instant spiritual sustenance and a reconnection to what really matters. But I might end up as one of those crazy mountain folks with a bunch of animals running around, sitting on my porch as the world bustles on by... yeah, I think I could handle that, too. These days it doesn't sound so crazy after all!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Vacation!
I'm salivating. Not because I have a wonderful meal awaiting me, but instead, gorgeous terrain! I'm off to Salt Lake City tomorrow! The mountains and the trees await, as well as many wonderful friends. But mostly the mountains! The spiritual connection with them is intense, and it is through their power that my own batteries will be recharged. Trees help, but a hike in the woods of Texas is just not the same as a hike in the forests of Utah.
Then again, you don't have to shovel sunshine, and we have plenty of oxygen in our fair state!
Then again, you don't have to shovel sunshine, and we have plenty of oxygen in our fair state!
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