Breathing lessons

I woke up this morning in a state of panic. Well, not panic, per se, but the unceasing constriction of anxiety that precedes taking a step that is so far out of your comfort zone that it is nearly inconceivable to the imagination. You see, I’m about to perform a wedding for my beloved niece and her fiance. The only certification that I have is an on-line ordination from The Universal Life Church, which I got about a year ago to legally protect me during my hands-on energy clearing/coaching sessions. Of course, being happily married to the same man for nearly 18 years helps me to understand the intimate nature and gravity of the situation, but standing up in front of up to 150 people to legally, if not spiritually, sanctify the union of a loving couple? Yeah, now you understand why it’s been a bit tough to breathe lately…

So I finally surrendered this morning to this feeling. I let myself feel as if I were going to disappear, and I even watched that part of me experience the worst situation I could imagine. I put that small part in a bubble with all of the disappointment, the criticism, the judgments of those present and not present, as well as all of my own fearful thoughts, and watched as the combined weight literally crushed that aspect of me. When it was all over, I felt lighter, free! It is a very uncomfortable feeling to witness this type of destruction, but I had to allow it to happen in order to let the rest of me escape the tightening noose of emotions that threatened to pull me under.

The final act of purging these inner demons came in the shower. Sea salt is a wonderful purifying agent, and I had a tub of Arbonne’s Awaken sea salt scrub. As the fragrance wafted over my olfactory glands, I impulsively grabbed a handful and began scrubbing the grit over my heart. As I worked my way around the rest of the dermal layers, I turned this simple act of cleansing my body into a meditation, saying the following words out loud:

I wash away any negativity lingering in my heart, allowing it open fully to receive God’s wisdom and guidance
I wash my arms, the symbol of the ability to hold on to those I love and to release that which no longer serves me
I wash my back, capable of bearing enormous weight with ease and grace
I wash my legs, strong enough to carry me to whatever the future holds for me, yet flexible enough to stay balanced
I wash my feet, symbols of the strong foundation of my childhood teachings and the foundation that I have created for myself
As the water washes over me, the salt cleanses me of any residual fears and negativity surrounding this event,
Awakening me to my full God-given potential.
I may be flawed, but I AM perfect just as I AM.
Thank you, Mother-Father God!

Once this act had been completed, I was finally able to take a deep breath and KNOW that all would be well, that all IS well. I may not perform the ceremony perfectly, but that’s OK. Of course, if I ever wanted to have fun with the title on the card that I received, I guess it could be a lot of fun to go around introducing myself as “Rev Bev”! Not today, though…today, I’ll just stick with Bev, and I’ll strive to be the best, perfectly flawed Bev that I can be. Namaste!